Healing Is Not Mindset Work: Why Recovery After Narcissistic Abuse Lives in the Body -- Part 7 Of Narcissistic Abuse Blog Series
- Randi Camirand
- Jan 17
- 3 min read
Updated: Jan 24
When the Spell Breaks -- Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
You can’t think your way out of trauma.
This is one of the most important—and often misunderstood—truths of healing after narcissistic or emotionally manipulative relationships. While self-help books, affirmations, or “positive mindset” approaches may feel comforting, they cannot undo the impact of trauma that lives in the body.
Narcissistic harm is not just a story you tell yourself. It is stored in your nervous system, your muscles, your breath, and your subtle sensations. And until your body feels safe, your mind cannot rest.
Trauma Lives in the Body, Not Just the Mind
After emotional abuse, your nervous system remains on high alert long after the relationship ends. You may notice:
A tight chest or gut
Restlessness or agitation
Startle responses to small triggers
Difficulty sleeping or relaxing
These are not signs of weakness or failure. They are signs that your body has learned to survive under chronic stress.
No amount of positive thinking can bypass this.
Healing begins with listening to your body, not lecturing your mind.
Slowing Down Is Essential
Recovery is not a race. It cannot be rushed with logic, willpower, or mindset shifts alone. The first step is often the simplest: slow down.
Slowing down allows you to:
Notice your physical sensations without judgment
Track how emotions move through your body
Identify triggers that keep the nervous system activated
By orienting inward, you give your nervous system permission to begin regulating itself. This is the foundation upon which sustainable healing is built.
Restoring Regulation Before Restoring the Mind
Your mind may crave clarity, explanations, or solutions—but your nervous system must feel safe first. When the body is dysregulated, attempts to “think your way out” of trauma often lead to frustration or self-blame.
Healing looks like:
Deep breathing and grounding practices
Gentle movement or somatic exercises
Mindful presence in the body
Allowing yourself to feel without immediate interpretation
These practices teach your nervous system that safety is possible, and that you can exist in the world without constant hypervigilance.
Differentiating Yourself Through Nervous System Repair
Most approaches to narcissistic abuse recovery focus on mindset: changing thoughts, reframing experiences, or managing emotions intellectually. While these tools have value, they only work after the body has been addressed.
By prioritizing nervous system repair, you differentiate yourself in your healing journey. You learn:
How to trust your body’s wisdom
How to feel without reacting automatically
How to respond from regulation instead of survival
This is where true empowerment begins—not just knowing you were harmed, but feeling safe in yourself again.
Healing Is a Process, Not a Shortcut
It can be frustrating to realize that “just thinking differently” won’t heal the deep imprint of narcissistic abuse. But slow, consistent nervous system work compounds over time. Each moment spent orienting inward, noticing sensations, and restoring calm rewrites old patterns of fear and hypervigilance.
Healing is not about rushing to closure.It is about returning home to your body.
You are not alone. I am available for individual sessions, when you are ready.
In the meantime, here are some Resources For Your Healing Journey:
Read blog posts from my series When the Spell Breaks: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse. https://www.randicamirand.com/blog/categories/healing-from-narcissistic-abuse
Follow my Women’s Wintering Well Series on Instagram for almost daily self-care reminders. https://www.instagram.com/randicamirand/
10 Grounding Practices for Women
Visit my Homepage www.randicamirand.com
Learn more About Me and My Approach https://www.randicamirand.com/about
Learn about my Women’s Online Meditation Classes and email sign up to receive notifications. https://www.randicamirand.com/womens-meditation-classes
Check out The Blog for therapy insights and self-help tips.
