The New You: Clarity Over Hardness -- Part 13 of Narcissistic Abuse Blog Series
- Randi Camirand
- Jan 17
- 2 min read
Updated: Jan 24
When the Spell Breaks -- Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
Healing doesn’t have to make you harder.
It makes you clearer.
After narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationships, it’s natural to fear that protecting yourself will make you rigid or unapproachable.
Many survivors worry:
Will I become cold?
Will I lose my sensitivity?
The truth is: healing doesn’t harden you—it sharpens your clarity. When you learn to trust your inner signals again, boundaries emerge naturally, without force or aggression.
Trusting Yourself Creates Natural Boundaries
Boundaries are the visible expression of inner trust. As you reconnect with your body, emotions, and instincts, you start to recognize:
What feels safe and nourishing
What feels draining or unsafe
What choices align with your values
When you respond from this clarity, boundaries flow naturally. They are no longer a defensive shield; they are a reflection of your alignment and self-respect.
Living as the New You
The new you is not someone who has “built walls” to survive. The new you is someone who:
Recognizes and honors feelings without judgment
Responds rather than reacts
Moves through the world with discernment and presence
Protects energy without shame or guilt
Healing creates presence, discernment, and empowerment, not hardness.
Gentle Practice to Embody Clarity
Check in with your body: notice tension or ease when thinking about interactions.
Listen to subtle signals: tightness, discomfort, or excitement indicate alignment.
Affirm your clarity: I notice what feels safe and what does not. I trust myself.
Act in small ways: honor your instincts through choices that feel aligned and restorative.
Every small decision rooted in inner trust reinforces your clarity and strength.
You are not alone. I am available for individual sessions, when you are ready.
In the meantime, here are some Resources For Your Healing Journey:
Read blog posts from my series When the Spell Breaks: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse. https://www.randicamirand.com/blog/categories/healing-from-narcissistic-abuse
Follow my Women’s Wintering Well Series on Instagram for almost daily self-care reminders. https://www.instagram.com/randicamirand/
10 Grounding Practices for Women
Visit my Homepage www.randicamirand.com
Learn more About Me and My Approach https://www.randicamirand.com/about
Learn about my Women’s Online Meditation Classes and email sign up to receive notifications. https://www.randicamirand.com/womens-meditation-classes
Check out The Blog for therapy insights and self-help tips.
