Waking up to Narcissistic Abuse: The Moment of Clarity -- Part 4 of Narcissistic Abuse Blog Series
- Randi Camirand
- Jan 17
- 3 min read
Updated: Jan 24
When the Spell Begins - Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
The spell doesn’t shatter.It cracks.
It happens quietly—often in a moment that seems insignificant from the outside.
A comment.A look.A sensation in your body that says, “This isn’t love.”
That moment changes everything.
Awakening Doesn’t Arrive All at Once
In narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationships, clarity rarely comes as a dramatic realization. More often, it emerges as a subtle internal shift—a break in the spell of self-doubt that once kept you questioning yourself instead of the relationship.
You may not yet have language for what’s wrong. But something in you begins to register truth.
Your body knows before your mind is ready to accept it.
The Body Is Often the First to Wake Up
Many women describe this phase as confusing because it doesn’t begin with certainty—it begins with sensation.
You might notice:
A tightness in your chest during interactions that once felt normal
A hollow feeling after conversations that leave you unseen
A sudden wave of sadness or anger without a clear “reason”
A deep internal no where there used to be justification
This isn’t hypersensitivity.This is embodied awareness returning.
The nervous system starts releasing information it had previously suppressed to keep you attached and safe.
Why This Moment Feels Destabilizing
Clarity doesn’t always feel empowering at first. Often, it’s disorienting.
Once the spell cracks, you can no longer fully return to the version of yourself who believed the explanations, excuses, or promises. But you also may not yet feel ready—or able—to leave.
This in-between space can bring:
Grief for the relationship you hoped it could be
Fear about what this realization might require
Self-doubt about whether you’re “overreacting”
A sense of standing on unstable ground
This is not weakness.This is awakening without a roadmap.
The Grief That Follows Clarity
With clarity often comes grief—not only for the relationship, but for yourself.
You may grieve:
The years you spent trying to make it work
The parts of you that went quiet to survive
The love you gave that was never met
The version of life you imagined with this person
This grief is an essential part of healing. It signals that your system is no longer dissociating from the truth.
Grief means you are present again.
When the Spell Breaks, You Begin to Trust Yourself
The moment of clarity is not about making immediate decisions. It’s about something far more foundational:
You begin to trust your own inner experience again.
That small internal voice—once overridden by doubt—starts to carry more weight than the external narrative you were given.
This is where healing truly begins.
A Gentle Path Forward
In my work as a therapist and Realization Process meditation teacher, I help women navigate this destabilizing phase with gentleness and precision—supporting the return of embodied self-trust rather than pushing for premature action.
Healing unfolds from there.
If you are in this moment—where something has shifted and you can’t unsee what you now know—you are not alone, and you are not imagining it.
You are not alone. I am available for individual sessions, when you are ready.
In the meantime, here are some Resources For Your Healing Journey:
Read blog posts from my series When the Spell Breaks: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse. https://www.randicamirand.com/blog/categories/healing-from-narcissistic-abuse
Follow my Women’s Wintering Well Series on Instagram for almost daily self-care reminders. https://www.instagram.com/randicamirand/
10 Grounding Practices for Women
Visit my Homepage www.randicamirand.com
Learn more About Me and My Approach https://www.randicamirand.com/about
Learn about my Women’s Online Meditation Classes and email sign up to receive notifications. https://www.randicamirand.com/womens-meditation-classes
Check out The Blog for therapy insights and self-help tips.
