What It’s Like to Be in a Relationship With A Partner Who Never Takes Responsibility
- Randi Camirand
- Jan 16
- 3 min read
Updated: Jan 24
Being in a relationship with someone who never takes responsibility can slowly unravel your sense of reality, safety, and self-trust. At first, it may be subtle—missed apologies, defensiveness, excuses that seem reasonable enough. Over time, however, the emotional cost becomes impossible to ignore.
You may find yourself carrying not only your own feelings, but theirs as well. Their anger becomes your fault. Their hurt becomes something you must fix. Their mistakes are somehow traced back to you. And no matter how gently or clearly you speak, accountability never arrives.
The Emotional Experience: Confusion, Self-Doubt, and Exhaustion
When someone consistently avoids responsibility, conversations often go in circles. You raise a concern, and it’s deflected. You express hurt, and it’s minimized. You ask for repair, and you’re told you’re “too sensitive,” “misunderstanding,” or “creating problems.”
Over time, this dynamic can lead to:
Chronic self-doubt and second-guessing
Emotional exhaustion from over-explaining or justifying yourself
A sense of walking on eggshells
Growing resentment paired with guilt for feeling it
Confusion about what is reasonable to expect in a relationship
You may start to internalize the belief that if you could just say it better, be calmer, be more patient, things would change. But the issue isn’t your communication—it’s the absence of accountability on the other side.
How Responsibility Avoidance Shows Up
A partner who doesn’t take responsibility may:
Blame others for their emotions or actions
Apologize superficially, without real change
Turn themselves into the victim when confronted
Rewrite events to avoid fault
Shut down, stonewall, or become defensive
Expect forgiveness without repair
This isn’t just frustrating—it’s destabilizing. Healthy relationships rely on mutual accountability, emotional repair, and the willingness to reflect inward. Without that, intimacy cannot deepen, no matter how much effort you put in.
The Deeper Impact: Losing Yourself
One of the most painful aspects of this kind of relationship is how quietly it pulls you away from yourself. You may begin to prioritize keeping the peace over speaking your truth. Your needs shrink. Your instincts become muted. You may feel responsible for maintaining the emotional balance of the relationship, while your own inner world goes unattended.
This dynamic can be especially damaging for those who are empathic, reflective, or inclined toward self-growth. You may be doing the inner work—while your partner remains unwilling to look at themselves.
Healing Begins With Clarity
Healing doesn’t always start with leaving. It starts with seeing clearly.
Clarity allows you to recognize:
What is and is not within your control
That responsibility cannot be forced or negotiated
That accountability is a choice, not a skill you can teach someone
That your needs, perceptions, and feelings are valid
From this place, you can begin to reconnect with yourself—your boundaries, your inner knowing, your capacity for grounded presence.
How I Support This Healing Process
In my work, I help individuals gently unwind the confusion and self-doubt that arise from relationships where responsibility is absent. Through therapy and contemplative practices, we work to restore connection to your inner ground—so your sense of self is no longer dependent on someone else’s ability (or inability) to take responsibility.
This process isn’t about blame. It’s about truth, self-trust, and coming back home to yourself.
You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone
If you find yourself questioning your reality, feeling emotionally worn down, or longing for clarity and steadiness after being in a relationship like this, support can make a profound difference.
You deserve relationships rooted in honesty, repair, and mutual responsibility—and you deserve support as you reclaim your sense of self.
If you’re ready to explore this work, I invite you to reach out. www.randicamirand.com
You are not alone. I am available for individual sessions, when you are ready.
In the meantime, here are some Resources For Your Healing Journey:
Read blog posts from my series When the Spell Breaks: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse. https://www.randicamirand.com/blog/categories/healing-from-narcissistic-abuse
Follow my Women’s Wintering Well Series on Instagram for almost daily self-care reminders. https://www.instagram.com/randicamirand/
10 Grounding Practices for Women
Visit my Homepage www.randicamirand.com
Learn more About Me and My Approach https://www.randicamirand.com/about
Learn about my Women’s Online Meditation Classes and email sign up to receive notifications. https://www.randicamirand.com/womens-meditation-classes
Check out The Blog for therapy insights and self-help tips.
