When Grief Hits You Out of Nowhere: And a Gentle Practice
- Randi Camirand
- Jan 24
- 2 min read
Grief doesn’t always arrive quietly.
Sometimes it crashes in—mid-day, mid-sentence, mid-breath.
One moment you’re “fine,” and the next your chest tightens, your throat burns, your stomach drops. Your body feels heavy and hollow at the same time. There’s pressure, ache, heat, nausea, exhaustion. It can feel almost unbearable—like something is wrong, like you need to get away from it now.
Everything in you wants relief. Distraction. Movement. Fixing. Numbing. Anything but this.
This is not a failure of coping.
It’s a nervous system responding to loss.
Grief is a whole-body experience. When it surfaces suddenly, the body often reacts first, long before the mind has words. The urge to escape makes sense. The pain feels too big to hold.
But here’s the quiet truth many of us were never taught: Grief doesn’t need to be pushed away to soften.It needs permission to be here—without you disappearing.
Not indulged. Not analyzed.
Simply allowed.
When grief is met with presence, even briefly, something begins to shift. The intensity may still be there—but you are no longer alone inside it.
A Gentle Practice When Grief Surges
You don’t need to do this perfectly.
Even a few seconds counts.
Pause.
If you can, stop what you’re doing. Let the moment be as it is.
Notice the body.
Where do you feel the grief most strongly right now?
Chest, throat, belly, face, shoulders?
No need to describe it—just feel.
Let it be there.
See if you can stop trying to change the sensation.
Not to make it go away.
Not to understand it.
Just: This is here right now.
Stay connected.
Feel your feet on the ground.
The support of the chair or floor.
Your breath moving on its own.
You might gently say to yourself:This hurts, and I’m still here.orI can be with this for this moment.
Soften around the edges.
You’re not asking the grief to shrink—only allowing your body to stop bracing against it.
Stay for as long as feels possible—10 seconds, 30 seconds, a minute.
Then, if you need to move, move slowly. Let yourself re-enter the day with care.
Grief comes in waves.
Some are tidal.
Meeting it this way doesn’t make the loss disappear—but it builds something essential: trust in your capacity to stay.
You are not doing grief wrong.
Your body is remembering.
And even in the ache, there is a quiet strength in not running.
You are not alone. I am available for individual sessions, when you are ready. In the meantime, here are some more Resources For Your Healing Journey:
More Resources For Your Healing Journey:
Read blog posts from my series When the Spell Breaks: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse. https://www.randicamirand.com/blog/categories/healing-from-narcissistic-abuse
Follow my Women’s Wintering Well Series on Instagram for almost daily self-care reminders. https://www.instagram.com/randicamirand/
10 Grounding Practices for Women
Visit my Homepage www.randicamirand.com
Learn more About Me https://www.randicamirand.com/about
Learn about my Women’s Online Meditation Classes and email sign up to receive notifications. https://www.randicamirand.com/womens-meditation-classes
Check out The Blog for therapy insights and self-help tips.
